Mrs. Nehad Abul Komsan attended it to define to the attendants, how custody and visitation affect the psychological and social aspects.
The platform included Mrs. Nehad Abul Komsan, Mr. Mansour Hamid and Mrs. Fatin Arif. Events of the seminar began with speech of Dr. Mansour by welcoming the attendants and Mrs. Nehad. He also exchange conversation with Mrs. Fatin who presented Mrs. Nehad to the attendants and focused on tackling custody and visitation case from social and psychological aspects more than tackling it from the legal aspect. Then Mrs. Nehad began her speech with welcoming the attendants; she said that the society considers Custody and visitation case as an independent part, away from the whole system of marriage and divorce; which is an extremely fault since it is part of this system, and the most heard words ” I cannot see his face”, which is said by the woman, and “I am suffocating” (mean that I cannot stand more in the slang Arabic), which is said by the man. In the past, we were hearing these expressions after 10 years of marriage, but now we hear them a week before wedding. “I think that marriage contract now is written with the knowledge that there will be a divorce contract soon, since the marriage system in Egypt led to the divorce one” Mrs. Nehad said.
One of first reasons of divorce is the ignorance of acceptability and refusal principle between man and woman and just focusing on the economical state. The second reason of it is the illogical expectations of each of man and woman about the other is that; the husband expects from his wife to be like his mother in her excessive care for his staff (like his food, clothes, pampering… etc. Thus, he just focuses on his career). The wife on the other hand expects from her husband to be like the knight she used to see in her dreams, who contradicts with her real husband. Thus, both of them collided with reality of the other, in addition to stressing from families of both of them that result in having children directly after marriage. In this moment the wife is shocked with the reality of her responsibility of two children needs; the first is presented in her husband and the second is her new born child.
Thus, she decides to give up all these responsibilities and end this relationship by divorce. At this time, the role of wise people in families of both of them should appear to give them the advice of how to run the crises, since each life should contains tug of war between husband and wife, absolutely in the context of respect. One of divorce reasons also is lack of biological or sexual culture of the relationship to both of them. Thus, it is difficult for the woman to be at the same level of temptation that the husband needs without being at the beginning at the same understanding of each others, and then they became better understood of the relationship together step by step.
When all these problems aggravate, divorce occurs; the wife became divorced and has a child out of this relationship, the husband also became psychologically pained due to loss of years from his life in vain, the children stay between all these problems. Thus, visitation and custody is part of this system that can ended by insisting of the father not to pay the alimony and insisting of the mother not to take children in the visitation to see their father.
Mrs. Nehad said that age of custody became either for boy or girl till 15 years old. She confirmed that visitation law is unfair to both of father and mother, since the right way for bringing good children psychologically needs both of them. For the boy, he needs his father to know how to be man, and needs his mother to know how to deal with the other sex, and vice versa with the girl.
One of most important ways that are used by some husbands to make pressure on the wives is to force her writing waiver of children in return for divorce. In this context, the knowledge of child’s custody till 15 years old is a right of child rather than being right of the mother is an important knowledge. Thus, even after writing this waiver, law should not consider it significant.
The most significant ways to limit rates of divorce are:
Mitigating the financial ambitions related to the flat and furniture and the financial circumstances of marriage. Thus, it is important to open other kinds of conversations for both of the man and woman rather than the financial conversation.
After that, discussion began with the attendants and focused on:
Suggestion of holding training sessions for youth who are about to be married Suggestion of creating committee to settle family disputes in Egypt Fishing Club, and it should include a psychological physician, and Mrs. Nehad should join this committee.